It starts off–an extra coffee on someone’s desk, lingering conversation in the break room, shared rides to after-hours events. Workplace romances are nothing new. In fact, according to a 2023 SHRM study, more than one in three employees have been romantically involved with a coworker. But when feelings enter the office, so do questions about professionalism, discretion, and the impact of personal relationships on team dynamics.
And those questions have been making their way into headlines. In a recent public moment, a CEO and an HR executive were seen sharing an intimate exchange at a concert. What followed was not just internet buzz—but concern over blurred boundaries, given the roles both individuals held within their organization.
It’s not the relationship itself that drew concern, but the context. When leadership is involved, especially those responsible for setting or enforcing conduct policies, the way a relationship is managed matters deeply. This is where etiquette enters the conversation; not as a list of rules, but as a standard of respect and discretion that protects both the individuals involved and the culture around them.
Where Etiquette Fits In
At the core, etiquette helps us engage thoughtfully with awareness and mutual respect in communal settings. In the workplace, it becomes the invisible framework that supports trust, communication, and fairness. When romance is involved, etiquette doesn’t discourage connection—it ensures that connection doesn’t compromise professionalism or the wellbeing of others.
Good etiquette in office relationships includes:
- Respecting professional boundaries during work hours
- Avoiding favoritism or the appearance of special treatment
- Disclosing the relationship when required by company policies
- Maintaining team dynamics and minimizing workplace distractions
Relationships between peers often raise fewer concerns. But when power dynamics are involved—between a superior and a direct report, or when one partner holds influence over policy or promotions, the impact is more complex. Even in the absence of misconduct, the mere appearance of misconduct can spark issues, lead to resentment, and raise questions about integrity.
Why It Matters for Everyone
Office romances don’t only impact the individuals involved; they shape how others experience the workplace. When a relationship is handled without care, it can leave colleagues walking on eggshells, hesitating to speak up, or questioning whether hard work still outweighs connections to power. These subtle shifts can undermine safety and trust, two of the most valuable elements of a healthy workplace.
Etiquette helps address this by asking people to step back and consider the broader picture:
- How might this relationship affect those around us?
- Is the behavior creating discomfort or confusion?
- Are we modeling the professionalism we expect from others?
The questions matter. Because whether you’re leading a team or working side-by-side with one another, your actions have a ripple effect.
Leadership Sets the Tone
Romantic relationships involving those in leadership, HR, or decision-making roles carry a heavier weight. Employees look to leaders for cues on what’s acceptable. When those leaders ignore etiquette, by acting inappropriately in public, keeping the relationship secret, or allowing it to influence decisions, it weakens credibility and undermines the standard of the workplace.
Companies can help by establishing clear policies around workplace dating, particularly when it involves reporting lines or power imbalances. But policies can only go so far. Culture is ultimately built through daily behavior, and that’s where etiquette steps in. It provides the social intelligence to manage the gray areas that policies can’t cover.
A Closing Thought
Office romance isn’t a problem. It’s a possibility that comes with responsibility, and when handled with maturity, openness, and the right etiquette, it doesn’t have to compromise your professionalism or your team’s trust.
The next time hearts start fluttering at work, pause to consider how that intersects with your conduct. Are you being transparent? Respectful? Thoughtful of the culture you’re part of? Love doesn’t need to be hidden, but it does need to be handled well.
That’s the power of etiquette. It doesn’t block love; it refines it. It ensures that your personal life doesn’t cloud your professional presence, and that your choices support and not subtract from the environment around you.