In many of today’s classrooms, the climate is obviously different. In addition to the dreaded lesson plans, teachers are finding themselves constantly needing to handle outbursts, distractions, and social tension among students. The need for emotional regulation, respectful communication, and empathy has never been more apparent. While Social Emotional Learning (SEL) has been adopted across many schools to help address these concerns, there is an often-overlooked companion that can help bring it all together, etiquette.
SEL is designed to teach students how to manage their emotions, build positive relationships and make healthy decisions. It is a foundational framework to helping students understand themselves and others. SEL has become more than just a buzz word these days; it’s become a lifeline. The lingering effect of the pandemic, the increased screen time, and change in social dynamics have all contributed to rising mental health concerns in children and adolescents. Some schools are embracing SEL to rebuild student connection, confidence, and resilience.
From experience through my years of teaching, I am aware that even the best lessons, including SEL, can fall flat without rea life opportunities to practice what’s being taught. This is where etiquette comes in. While some might want to dismiss it, or think that it is stuffy, or only for the elite, etiquette is simply the outward expression of respect, empathy, and emotional intelligence. It offers practical tools to help them put the emotional skills they are learning into practice. A student may know what empathy means, but etiquette teaches them how to show it. They will practice apologizing, waiting their turn, and listening without interrupting.
In fact, the link between etiquette and mental health is well supported. Research shows that prosocial behaviors, like kindness, helping others, and using manners, are tied to improved well-being. One study published in PLOS ONE showed that elementary students who display three acts of kindness per week, experienced higher peer acceptance and emotional well-being (Acts of Kindness). These small everyday actions made a measurable difference in the classroom’s climate and student happiness.
Including etiquette in daily school life does not require a formal curriculum. It starts with small consistent habits:
- Greeting teachers and classmates each morning with eye contact and a smile
- Listening without interrupting
- Taking turns to speak or play
- Apologizing sincerely when mistakes happen
- Respecting personal space, time, and belongings
These habits reinforce the five competencies of SEL: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, relationship skills, and responsible decision-making. In short, etiquette helps SEL stick!
While schools play an important role in modeling and implementing these behaviors, parents are powerful partners in this process. Reinforcing etiquette at home strengthens a child’s understanding of what is considered normal social behavior, and emotional expectations. Respectful family communications during meals, holding doors for others, handling conflicts calmly, writing ‘Thank You’ notes, are all opportunities for real world learning.
What’s even more impactful is when parents model these skills themselves. Children learn best by watching the adults around them, especially family members. A calm conversation during a disagreement, a moment of gratitude expressed in front of a child, or a simple “good morning” all reinforce the message that kindness, respect, and empathy matter.
Etiquette offers a sense of grounding, in a world that feels fast paced, disconnected, and loud. It reminds students that how they treat themselves, and others, has lasting value. It also makes for a safer classroom environment, where students feel respected and are more equipped to handle life’s ups and downs.
As we continue to prioritize Social Emotional Learning in our schools, let us not overlook the quiet power of everyday manners. Etiquette is not outdated; it’s the missing link that brings SEL to life.
If you found this post helpful, you might enjoy my book, 101 Quick Tips for Students, which provides practical tips that can be reinforced in the classroom and at home.